A Young Lesbian Fights For Her Parents’ Acceptance In ‘Come Around’

Canada GL Recaps Philippines

2024-01-11
09:00

‘Come Around’ follows a pair of Filipino parents who deal with the aftermath of their daughter Bela coming out as gay. Bela’s parents must learn to accept her sexuality before their relationship is permanently strained. Through their interactions in the kitchen, they gradually grow apart but eventually find their way to each other.

The film starts with a family eating dinner together. At first glance, it is apparent that there is tension in the silence that permeates the scene. Bela, the teenager, picked at her food sullenly as her parents ate wordlessly. Bela threw a look at her mother and was reminded of the day disappointment and anger were painted on her parents’ faces. Bela, herself, is gloomy. A direct opposite of when she is with her special friend, Grace.

Bela is taken back to when her mother was mad at her, raising her voice at how “this is not how friends act” and “this is not how we raised you” as she went on about how they left their entire lives in the Philippines for the American dream, only for Bela to shatter their dreams and expectations for her, presumably directed at Bela and Grace’s special relationship. Bela answered that they were not doing anything wrong. Her mother, however, asked Grace to leave.

(Sometime after their confrontation, Grace and Bela are seen hanging out back in Bela’s house while her parents are out. Bela savored the stolen moment.)

Days after their confrontation, Bela attempted to talk to her mother about finding out about her sexuality. Bela asked her to try but her mother was very much against it, saying her sexuality was against everything they believed in. Furthermore, her mother is concerned about other people’s opinions. Bela answered that she does not care about what other people think. Her mother countered that they would never be able to accept her sexual orientation so does that not matter to her?

What does matter? Bela thinks and is taken back to their confrontation once more. Does it matter that she is gay? What does matter? Bela thinks back to her happy moments with Grace, the laughter, the warmth, the embraces, and their hands around their mugs.

Bela is gay and she told her mom when confronted. Her mother claimed that she was disgusting.

What matters, then, when their family starts to break under the weight of the reality of her sexuality? Their dinners become more awkward, their conversations turn more stilted, and the silence grows bigger.

Once, Bela presented the idea of moving out of their house to her mother. Bela gauges her mother’s reaction– silent and aloof, very much unlike when Bela tried to have a conversation with her after their confrontation. Back then, her mother had been desperate in trying to convince her that maybe she had not met the right man just yet and she happened to know many single guys who go to church. Maybe Bela was just confused. But that just ended up with Bela having an outburst at her mother’s insistence that she was unsure of her sexuality. An emotional Bela thanked her for her sacrifices but emphasized that she does not owe her heart to her mother nor does she have to apologize for it. Bela cried that she was tired of hating herself just so her mother could love her.

And that was presumably the reason why Bela opened the idea of moving out with her mother. But her mother only stared at her wordlessly which had Bela feeling frustrated as she walked out, never seeing her mother break into tears after.

Bela’s relationship grew more strained as evidenced by how often they do not share a meal anymore. Bela’s father even offered her to take the Filipino noodles in the fridge for lunch which Bela passed on, even ignoring her mother. Bela’s father asked what time she would be coming home which Bela answered vaguely with “late.” Her father exasperatedly asked Bela’s mother if this would be their relationship from then on. Bela’s mother broke down into tears.

One night, while in the kitchen busy preparing food, Bela’s father asked her to join them for dinner since it had been a while since they all sat down together to share a meal. Bela asked if her mother even wanted her to be there and her mother looked at her timidly and silently before resuming to wash some dishes. Bela rolled her eyes and said she was going to pass. Just then, the doorbell rang which stopped Bela. She asked if they had a visitor coming over but her mother ominously answered that Bela should stay for supper. Bela replied that she was not in the mood to be judged. As she started to walk away, a figure entered the kitchen which surprised Bela.

Grace walked in and Bela immediately asked what she was doing there. Grace answered that Bela’s parents invited her for dinner. A stunned Bela looked over at her parents and her mother told her that they were trying and that they would like to get to know Grace a bit more; not only Grace but also Bela if that was okay. Bela smiled for the first time in a long while and told her mother that she would love that.

Writer’s thoughts:

The main theme of ‘Come Around’ is that food is its own language in the Filipino culture and we see that throughout the film as Bela’s relationship gets more strained as they start to share meals less. Similarly, we see that as Bela’s parents try to reconcile with her and try to be more accepting by inviting Bela and her girlfriend, Grace, for supper. Because that is how Filipino parents communicate their love and apologies.

Watch ‘Come Around’ in GagaOOLala which is now available to watch on your smart TVs! Just download the GagaOOLala app on Google Play, Amazon Appstore, and Roku.

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